Big Email

Some people just have no concept of how big that email with the picture attachment really is.

Just once I'd like to ask them, "Hey! Want to see a picture of my buddy?" and show them this:

My buddy

Maybe that will get the point across.

Tools of the Trade

Being from a family with generations of woodworkers and carpenters, I have always found the adage "The right tool for the job" to be true. The correct tool can make a task so much easier. Take, for example, the user that emailed in wanting more memory for his laptop.

The memory arrived at my home and I will plan to install it later today. Anything special I need to know about removing and installing the new chip? It appears a small screwdriver or needle nose pliers will help loosen carefully and lift the existing memory out. Once removed the old piece can be placed into position and pressed to secure it. Obviously the laptop will be powered down.

Obviously.

Personally, I just use a butter knife and a toothpick when replacing laptop memory.

One Finger Salute - Seagate Recovery Services

So there was a hard drive crash in the family. No big deal, even though it took some time to track down a similar sized hard drive to replace it. $40 is not that bad to spend on a brand new 80GB hard drive. During my search, I came across Seagate Recover Services. They say they can recover data from any drive and even have a No Data, No Pay guarantee.

I didn't call their toll-free phone number since I knew I'd be chatting with someone from the Far East and I really didn't want to go through that kind of pain. On the website there was an option to do an online chat session. Now we're cooking with gas! So I click on the icon and fill out the little form and within minutes I'm chatting with someone from the Far East. Rupa's accent didn't show up at all through the keyboard.

Unfortunately it was probably the shortest chat session I've ever had with someone online. Rupa asked me if it was a standalone hard drive. Yes. She asked what the drive's capacity was. 80GB. Then she asked if I could see the drive in Windows. No. Then she asked if I could see the drive in BIOS. No again. She then offered two options: A - Priority service that would recover my data in 2 to 5 business days for $2500 or B - Economy service that would recover my data in 2 to 3 weeks for only $1700.

Jiminy Tap-Dancing Christmas!

Needless to say, a couple of hundred pictures and some MP3s ripped from a few dozen CDs on a $40 hard drive wasn't worth $1700. Instead I counter offered Seagate Recovery Services a single finger.

On another note, be sure to spend that extra $20 at Dell for their Full Recovery CD. Normally they put that data on the hard drive, which does you NO good when the hard drive crashes. With the CD at least you can go back to when the PC was purchased. $20 is worth the two days it took to format the drive and install Windows XP along with all the software and drivers.

Pay Day Eve 5/22

YAY! It's Pay Day Eve!

(insert funny comment here)

Like Magic!

Our new VPN installation is giving me a plethora of material. Call after call goes by with me basically reading the instructions from the email sent out and making sure the user clicks on the correct things.
Today is no exception: A call came in about a user not being able to get email while connected to the new VPN. What good is having a secure link to the network if your email doesn't work?
After days of going back and forth looking at various email settings and just trying to get email working in general, I had a thought. I checked on some logs and found that, sure enough, guess who never installed the new VPN?

So we've gone from trying to run the software that's installed on another PC, to trying to run the software that's not even installed. I can't wait to see what's next.

Read Much?

A global email goes out to everyone about our new VPN. It's a simple email with simple instructions.

From: Administrator
To: Everyone
Subject: New VPN - Do Not Delete these instructions

1) Go to VPN website
2) Enter your username (first initial, last name)
3) Enter your password (the same one you use for the network)

Now let's play a game based on the email with the 3-step instructions above.

Question #1 - For grins, let's say your name was John Smith. What would your username be?
Answer #1 - JSmith
Good.

Question #2 - If your name was Brady McFee, What would your username be?
Answer #2 - BMcFee
Wow! You're pretty good at this.

Let see how you handle a trickier question:
Question #3 - If your name is Jimmy Joe Johnson and your old VPN password was "peanuts", How would you log into the new VPN?

If you answered "Go to the VPN website and type in 'JJohnson' in the username field and put in your network password." then you must be some kind of moron.
I mean, clearly what you should do is delete the email with the instructions, ask a co-worker to forward you the email with the instructions, go to the website, type "Jimmy Joe Johnson" in the username field and type "peanuts" into the password field, call for tech support and get miffed when they tell you to type 'JJohnson' and your network password.

Now I'm not saying that to be mean. But it's kind of scary that the email went out to a bunch of people and we have been getting an unusually large number of calls with that exact scenario. What's the point of having an email account if you're not going to read the emails in it?

Can you hear me now?

I hate that guy. You know the one. That "Can you hear me now?" guy. He doesn't have to speak. Just the sight of his face brings up that unbridled rage. The reason he gets on my nerves so bad is the entire premise of asking the same thing over and over and over again. It's one of my pet peeves.

I'm a patient person. You have to be in this line of work. As a matter of fact if you walked a hundred kids into a room one at a time, I could ramble off the same presentation without batting an eye. The key here is the "one at a time" part. Walk the same kid in for the same presentation a hundred times and I will go absolutely insane after the fifth or sixth run.

There is a user out there. He's a fine gentleman. Older and non-technical, but still a perfectly nice human being. I mention this because he has discovered the joys of wireless networking. Unfortunately he has to call me to let me know every single time his wireless connection is not working right and I have to go through exactly the same steps every time. Over. And over. And over.

The last time we had to get him a replacement laptop, with a new type of wireless. However, something is wrong and it will not connect. So I tell him, there is something physically wrong with the wireless, and it won't work. The next time you are in town, stop by and I will personally look at the laptop and try to get it to work. In the meantime, use your network wire and plug into your home network and everything will be fine.

For the last two weeks, every work day I have been getting a phone call from him. EVERY work day. Some days it's in the morning. Some days it's in the afternoon. Once it was even at lunchtime. Some days he will leave a message, but he will keep calling until I pick up the phone and he hears my voice. The call is the same. ALWAYS the same. Each. And. EVERY. TIME. THE SAME.

"Yeah, Hey. I'm trying to get my wireless working, but it's not connecting. I'm gonna stop by the next time I'm in town and let you take a look at it. OK?"

I can quote it. I have it memorized. The voice messages are all exactly the same. As if it was recorded and played back just for my benefit. It has become so bad that even my co-workers know whenever I receive the call. What's really sad is the fact that the user will only be able to stop by some time at the end of the month. So I get to look forward to two more weeks of

"Yeah, Hey. I'm trying to get my wireless working, but it's not connecting. I'm gonna stop by the next time I'm in town and let you take a look at it. OK?"

YEAH. OK. YOU STOP BY. OK? OK. (click)