We're Not Playing Games Here

Many years ago I was called in to find out why this one user could never reliably connect to the server with their modem. The user would call for help and tech support would walk the user through resetting the modem. Everything would work fine until the next morning and the cycle would repeat.

This cycle went on for months. Every once in a while one of the front-line tech support guys would catch me in the hall and ask me about the case. "User can't connect" is about all the detail I would ever get. It is just too hard to troubleshoot an issue without any background information.
You have to hand it to the user though. He must have had the patience of Job. Month after month he would make his daily call to tech support and have them walk him through resetting the modem. Were it me, after about the fifth or sixth time, I'd just do the procedure myself without calling in. Although after about the second week, I would realize that I was only fixing the symptoms and not curing the disease.

So the boss gets a bit upset about this one user racking up so much call time and turns the case over to me. I call the user up and it goes like this:

User> Hello?
GTG> Hello. This is Grumpy Tech Guy from Grumpy Tech Support. I'm calling to help you today.
User> They already fixed my connection this morning.
GTG> Yes, but I'm going to try and find out why it is happening on a daily basis.
User> Oh, okay then.
GTG> First off, I would like to get an idea of exactly what happens. Please describe the problem.
User> Well, I get here first thing in the morning and do the books. Then I try to connect and I get this thing on the screen and I call and leave a message for tech support.
GTG> What kind of "thing" on the screen?
User> Nothing much really, just a thing that says can't find something or other.

I'm not going to bore you with the gory details. Needless to say that after about 10 minutes of questions and partial answers I determine that the computer basically thinks the modem is no longer attached.

User> So why would it lose the modem?
GTG> I'm not sure. Could someone be unplugging it from the computer?
User> No. At least I don't think so. It's screwed in pretty good.
GTG> Another thing would be if some other application is given access to the modem and never lets it go.
User> What kind of application?
GTG> Games are the first thing to come to mind.
User> I doubt it's any games. We don't play games here.
GTG> Well, a simple reboot should correct the issue if there were some other application...
User> You don't believe me do you?
GTG> Oh it's not that. Do me a favor. I'll call you tomorrow morning. Reboot the computer when you first get in before you do books. Okay?
User> Alright. I'll write myself a note.

So the next morning I come into work and call the user to see if my theory is correct.

GTG> So, did the reboot work?
User> I think so. It connected right up and everything.
GTG> Okay, I'm going to connect to your computer and look around and see if I notice anything out of the ordinary.
User> Well it won't be a game. We don't play games here.

It only takes five minutes to find the StarCraft folder and there is a modem configuration file with today's date and a time of about 2AM. So, someone is playing StarCraft around 2AM and using the modem to do it. I call the user back.

GTG> I found your trouble. Someone has installed StarCraft on the computer and they are playing it late at night. Who has physical access to the computer around that time?
User> But we don't play games here. We are just too busy. Especially that late at night.
GTG> Yeah. The file is there. Would you like the phone number the culprit calls?
User> I can't believe this.

I rattle off the phone number and he recognizes it as a night guy's home phone. It turns out that the night guy calls and plays online with his roommate every night. This ruins the modem configuration for our connection software so it thinks the modem isn't connected. The reboot re-establishes the connection to the modem as well as the configuration.

Once the night guy was scolded and StarCraft was removed, the daily calls to tech support stopped.