It Just Installed Itself?

So this recently hired user gets a laptop. It's not brand new, but it still works just fine after all the junk the last user that owned it is cleaned up. Anyway, the user has the laptop about a week and has to call in for help. For some reason, Outlook 2003 will not work anymore.
Several voicemails and phone calls later I finally get in touch with the user to setup a remote session. I get connected to his machine and determine that Outlook 2007 is trying to kick off, but Outlook 2003 is what is installed.

GTG> Did you install Office 2007?
User> Uh, no. I don't think so.
GTG> You didn't insert an Office 2007 CD and run the installation?
User> Oh no. I just got this thing. I wouldn't mess with it.
GTG> Well there is no way for me to repair it remotely.
User> What now?
GTG> You will need to ship it back to me so I can reset it back to when we sent it to you.

So let's use our brainpower to figure out how Office 2007 attempted and failed an installation:
Scenario 1 -
User was using the laptop in a local Starbucks when a software pirate, in his new Mustang, crashes through the front door while being chased by police. The pirated Office 2007 CD shot through the pirate's front windshield and landed in the laptop's drive. Since the autorun feature is turned on, Office 2007 began its installation. The quick-thinking user immediately powers off the laptop to prevent any harm, but it is too late.
Yeah, that's pretty good.

Scenario 2 -
Aliens show up at the user's home but mistakenly abduct the laptop instead. They are unsuccessful in installing Office 2007 and return the laptop in its current condition.
Short and sweet. But something just doesn't add up.

Scenario 3 -
It's a miracle. God comes down from Heaven and miracles Office 2007 onto the laptop. It's an Immaculate Installation™! The user tries to cover up the miracle by uninstalling Office 2007 but the uninstaller goes horribly wrong.
We have a winner.