Dear Powers That Be,I have located a shipping company called Temporal Express® that is willing to ship laptops up to four weeks into the past.
I just want you to be aware of some basic Laws of Physics that also apply to technology:
1. Please do not call us three weeks after you hire someone griping about how the new guy does not have everything he needs. Especially if you never told us about him.
2. Please remember it takes time to order a laptop. There is no company on Earth that will ship a laptop three weeks BEFORE you order it. Especially if you never told us about it.
3. Please understand that even though it only takes about five minutes to set someone up with a network account, it is impossible to install all the software and get it all configured three weeks BEFORE it is shipped three weeks BEFORE you order it. Especially if you never told us about it.
Temporal Express® When it absolutely positively has to be there yesterday.
Shipping fees are $4,000,000,000,000 per day. Make checks payable to Grumpy Tech Guy.
3 comments:
Over $46 million dollars a second. At that rate, at least instantaneous delivery is free, or do "nominal fees" apply?
Some assembly is required though.
I wanted it yesterday!!!
Our HR fails at notifying me about new hires...
I feel ashamed to tell the new hires "no, you don't get laptop, laptop NOT yours!"
/cry
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