Can't Connect

Calls come in constantly, but some just draw the life right out a person...

GTG> Grumpy Tech Support. How may I help you today?
User> Hello. Yeah. I have a vendor here with a laptop that is having a problem connecting to our wireless network.
GTG> That's because we don't have a wireless network.
User> Well she said she sees one out there, but can't connect to it.
GTG> Yes, there are several wireless networks in range of the office, but none of them are ours so I can't help your vendor connect to them.
User> How is she supposed to get on the Internet then?
GTG> She can plug into our network using a network cable in one of the spare offices.
User> And she can just plug in that cable?
GTG> Yep.
User> Where does she plug it in?
GTG> What kind of laptop is it?
User> I don't know. Black?
GTG> There should be a hole somewhere on the laptop that looks like a wide phone jack. The cable goes in there.
User> She can't find it.
GTG> Ask her what the brand and model number of her laptop is and I will look it up.
User> She says it's an IBM. She doesn't know the model number.
GTG> What company is she with?
User> IBM.
GTG> I'll be right there.

It took a whopping 3 seconds to plug the cable into the network port on the laptop. In defense of the vendor, her laptop was only a few days old and no one ever showed her how to connect to a network using the cable since she has always had a docking station.